GETTING THE SEX LIFE THAT YOU WANT

If you have ever been in a long term relationship, married or not, you will agree that sex gets progressively difficult. When you find yourself in such a situation, the right steps have to be taken, otherwise your relationship and family (if you have one) will be destroyed by this. Always remember this; most people in long term relationships are having it rough, very rough. You don’t want to be them, at all, I suppose.

Statistics show that the two major causes of divorces are Money and Sex. Money comes first and sex second. I am not a financial expert so if you are having money problems, you might want to talk to the likes of Charles Soludo. As for sex, well, that’s what I am here for. Let us begin by understanding why long term sexual satisfaction is so difficult. Generally speaking, modern life as we know it today is very demanding, not just in Africa but everywhere else. The long tedious hours spent at work, the money that never seems to be enough, the lack of electricity,etc. Just weigh you down, not to talk of coming home to a house full of screaming kids. All these challenges just attack and steal the life you once had or hoped for. The other big killers of our sex lives are change and familiarity with our lovers. As the years pass bye, we get burdened with work and all kinds of responsibilities. Under such conditions, we loose focus, stop taking care of ourselves and cease to be exciting. It is at times like this that our husbands or wives accuse us of becoming different people, and they are right. People change.

The big question however is what to do when this happens. WE ADAPT AND CHANGE STRATEGY. That is what we do. If you do not remember anything else discussed in this article, please remember the word ADAPTATION. That is the key. Adapt or you are finished. You cannot always expect what worked for you five years ago to work now. Here is an example. A lot of women complain about not being in the mood for sex nowadays because of all the things happening in their lives. While this is understandable and makes perfect sense, there is still a problem here. Your sexual relationship will definitely suffer if you are hardly in the mood, so you need to do something about it. CHANGE YOUR STRATEGY.

How do we change strategy? Here are a few suggestions. There is the option of making a schedule for sex. Every week, we make the difficult decision of having to wake up, bathe, dress up and feed the kids and ourselves and then proceed to drop them off at school, and continue all the way to our work place. What stops us from working sex into our weekly schedules? It can be done and people are doing it. Surely, routine sex can’t be that tough! Hello! SEX IS FUN, remember? I know that some of you will argue that routine sex is not all that enjoyable. That is how it seems at first, but I can assure you that if every couple had routine sex a minimum of three times a week, our relationships will shed half the baggage it carries with it. If people had sex regularly, even if it was for five minutes a session, they wouldn’t feel so frustrated, neglected and unloved. Besides, scheduling sex is similar to scheduling dinner in a restaurant or scheduling going to the cinema on a weekend. It is exciting and it is something you look forward to. Fixing a time for something creates anticipation and excitement which puts you in the mood when the time comes. It is not difficult. It just requires commitment.

There are other ways of getting in the mood as well, but we will talk about just two of them in brief. One is through Movies and the other through Aphrodisiacs. As controversial as this might sound, there is no bigger turn-on than watching other people having sex. Movies are what I like to call ‘visual aphrodisiacs’. They put you in the mood instantly which is amazing. Oral aphrodisiacs such as Spanish fly and Herbal Viva also put you in the mood, wherever and whenever you want. But you must check with your doctor to confirm that you are healthy enough to take these supplements.

Now that we’ve seen the possibilities, let me share this scenario with you: this is a confession from a lady, in her own words, here is an excerpt; “this guy was so good in the art of love making. I have never had it that good in a long while. His ‘oral’ was out of this world, he made me climaxed several times. Because of this, I had to take him to my house, which I hardly do, cooked him a delicious Ogbono soup with Semo to go with, took him to an ice cream spot and bought one for him (a dead give-away). Still basking in the euphoria of what to expect from him later that day, I took him to my favorite spot where I bought him spiced-grilled catfish with chips (you have to earn it)….”
Damn! Guys that is some stuff for you to chew…lol. So you see the benefit of a good sex. It creates excitements. Makes you do imaginary things. I could go on and on and on. However, the benefits can not be over emphasized. In a nutshell, I strongly recommend that you give your sex life a lift and spice up your relationship.

Talk to you soon.
Morgan.

ROMANTIC IDEAS

IDEA 1.
If your partner is going away for a few days, tell her you are worried about her so you have organized a bodyguard to look after her. Then give her a small teddy bear.

IDEA 2.
Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as “I love you”, when the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

IDEA 3.
On a special occasion, buy your partner eleven (11) real red roses and one (1) artificial red rose. Place the artificial rose at the center of the bouquet.
Attach a card that says: “I will love you until the last rose fades”

IDEA 4.
This is for the IT savvy folks… buy the domain name of your partner’s name if it is available for example www.NkechiMorgan.com . Create a web page containing a romantic poem and a picture a rose or her picture. When your partner is surfing the web, casually ask whether she has ever checked to see whether her domain name is taken. Let her type it in to discover her page.

IDEA 5.
Buy a stylish hand mirror and give it to your partner as a gift. Include a card in the box saying: “In this mirror you will see the image of the most beautiful woman in the world.”

IDEA 6.
Take a book that your partner is reading and using a pencil, underline letters in a section of the book she has yet to read to spell out a love letter. For example in the following excerpt from a novel, the underlined letters come together to spell out the secret message “I love you.”

The palace was a Labyrinth, their passage through it tortuous and interminable. Initially they passed from building to building under the sodden sky. Steve’s feet ached; he might have laughed at himself, the tireless traveler, grown too soft from his months in the city to walk any proper distance. Abruptly the guards halted.

The underlined letters will make your partner curious and with a bit of luck she will write them down. Spend time to encode a proper such as “Dear Paula, I love you honey.”

IDEA 7.
Have flowers delivered to your partner’s workplace. She will not only enjoy the flowers but will also receive comments and attention from her colleagues which will add to her enjoyment.

IDEA 8.
While walking with your partner on a weekend getaway, pick up a smooth stone and say that you’re going to keep it as a special moment of your trip.
Later, have a message such as

“I love Bibian”

engraved into the stone by a jeweler and give it to your partner.

IDEA 9.
Get a piece of paper with some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write “I love you” inside the hearts.

Next find a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s work such as:
For the immediate and urgent attention of:
Ryan Morgan
Audit Dept.
Morgan incorporated
Lagos.

Mail it to your partner so she receives it in the middle of a busy day.


IDEA 10.
If your partner has to work late, take a lunch box and fill it with some of her favorite things such as chocolates, cookies, pizza, and small teddy bear.
Next, get a piece of paper and write
“Michelle’s Late Night Survival Pack”

Draw a big red cross below this and stick the paper to the top of the box. Tell your partner to open the box when things get really tough.

IDEA 11.
If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. This will often bring back happy memories from your childhood.

IDEA 12.
Leave a long stem rose where your partner will find it with a note on it saying: “Thank you for coming into my life.”

IDEA 13.
If your partner is starting a new job, buy a copy of “the sound of music” sound track. Record the song, “I have confidence” onto a tape or cd and add your own message at the end of the song saying,

“Good luck honey, I have confidence in you.”
Give the tape or cd to your partner to play on the way to work in the car.

IDEA 14.
Buy a small decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card.
Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card:
I know a great Masseur.
For an appointment:
(Your phone number)


IDEA 15.
When your spouse has had a really long hard day, run a hot bath for her. Pour some fragrant bath oil into the tub and gently bathe her from head to toe. Carry her into the bedroom. Gently towel her dry and tuck her into a freshly made bed with a kiss on the forehead.