MEN, WOMEN AND EJACULATION: A Quick Guide..

Male and female ejaculation is one issue that is very central to human sexuality. This is because the implications are many. Take male ejaculation for instance. If a man ejaculates, he is considered virile. If he ejaculates early, he is seen as unskilled and useless as far as pleasuring women is concerned. Infact, early ejaculation is considered an illness in a lot of circles, which is wrong and we will be addressing this issue. And then of course, there is the myth of female ejaculation. I say ‘myth’ because a lot of people have never witnessed it, so there is a lot of speculation and curiosity about female ejaculation. Just in case you are wondering if women do ejaculate, yes they do. Female ejaculate feels and looks like urine but it is not. It usually gushes- a bit like an eruption and it is such a beautiful thing to watch. Some women ejaculate fluid, while a lot of others do not. If you don’t ejaculate, that’s fine. There is nothing wrong with you.

Male ejaculation however is our focus today and is of greater consequence than female ejaculation of course. If a man is not ejaculating, babies cannot be made. The issue of ejaculation is a huge source of concern for most men, because a man’s ability to delay his ejaculation is his source of sexual pride- besides the size of his penis and his ability to bring a woman to climax. And it doesn’t end there. Women rate a man’s level of sexual usefulness based on his ability to prolong his erection, amongst other skills. But the major issue concerning the penis is what is widely referred to as ‘premature ejaculation’, which is a silly term if you understand that the essential idea of intercourse is procreation. Have you ever timed dogs or chickens when they are mating? If so, do they stay up to two minutes? Of course not! Why? Because the male specie is built to ejaculate rapidly shortly after penetration, just to ensure that nothing stands in the way of this natural process of procreation. That is the whole idea. To ensure that the woman you are having sex with does not change her mind and decide to go and cook or do something else just before you climax, your ejaculation is designed to be rapid. It is not an illness. Infact, the only reason time is a factor during sex is because it takes women a long time to get aroused and an even longer time to have an orgasm. Otherwise, who will be talking about premature ejaculation? If the average woman could achieve sexual satisfaction and orgasm within five minutes, who would care about rapid male ejaculation? ‘Premature Ejaculation’ is an incorrect term that ridicules the average ejaculatory period of most men. If as we all know, it takes the average man four minutes of deep vaginal penetration to climax, mathematically, how early does one have to ejaculate to be classified as a premature ejaculator? You see my point? We can talk about the need to ‘delay ejaculation’ for the benefit of women. But when you use the term ‘curing premature ejaculation’, you make perfectly healthy people feel as if they are suffering from an illness which is not true.
So the issue here is the need to prolong sex for the benefit of women, which is a whole new subject altogether. Man’s ability to delay his ejaculation hardly comes naturally. It requires skill and the use of certain products. Do not be fooled by porn stars that have onscreen sex for long periods of time. Most of them use erection enhancers and besides, the directors of these movies do different takes and make onscreen sex appear longer! In reality, an average healthy guy does not take that long to climax. So please, we need to start changing the way we perceive and talk about ejaculation. There are several ways one can delay his ejaculation and prolong his erection. Below are the very common ones.

Sex Positions: There are several sex positions that prevent deep penetration and aid longer erections. You can learn these from the appropriate books and films available at our bookshelves.

Cock Rings: A cock ring is a sex toy that prevents the penis from going limp after ejaculation. It is cheap, easy to use and very effective.

Outercourse: Outercourse is a term referring to any form of sexual play that is not vaginal intercourse. As you know, the vagina is easily the most exciting place that man can put his penis, which is part of the reason men ejaculate quickly. However, there is oral sex, hand jobs and other forms of love making that do not involve vaginal intercourse. You can start with these for several minutes before vaginal penetration. That way, your love making will appear longer.

Desensitizing Creams and Sprays: These are very common and this is how they work. Most of them contain a chemical component called benzocaine which numbs and desensitizes the penis, thereby delaying ejaculation. One of the most popular of these products is a cream called Love Stuff All Night Long Erection Cream. It is our best selling erection enhancer. There is also a balm called Kamasutra Pleasure Balm which gives erections and delays ejaculation as well.

Aphrodisiacs: Generally speaking, an aphrodisiac is any substance that puts you in the mood for sex, while giving the needed erection. Ask for a product called Dickalisious Penis Arousal Gel. It helps you get it up, even if you are not in the mood for sex. The product Herbal Viva is also very popular and helps restore stamina and low libido.

Always remember that sex is about fun, play and rekindling desire for one another. It is a celebration of your love and attraction to each other and a source of emotional connection and sensual therapy. That is what Marvin Gaye was talking about when he sang ‘Sexual Healing’. Focus on all of these. Prolonging ejaculation is okay, but don’t obsess about it. When round one ends, there is always round two which usually lasts longer, and you’ve got your sex toys to fall back on anyway.

Uche Edochie.